A Story of Grace

My guess is that not a lot of people would be excited if someone dropped this off at their front door.

I actually was thrilled when a recent acquaintance asked me to see what I could do with the vintage cigar boxes she found among her father's things.  As many of us are at the beginning of a new year, she was ready to let some things go and thought these could be cleaned up and used for collage.  Visually they are so very interesting.  Beautiful, mellowed colors and bold and varied typefaces lend plenty of character and texture...a great jumping off point for a mixed media piece.

I got to know the owner of these boxes a bit the day she dropped them off and a story she told me inspired the theme of my first design.  She spoke of her mother, who relocated to a new living situation after a fall and an injury.  During the transition her mother asked to visit her former home just one more time before everything was moved out.  On the day of her visit, she walked through the space, touching a few items, remembering and honoring the time spent there, probably reliving her most precious memories.  After a short time she turned to one of her daughters and said, "I'm ready to go."  She then stepped into her new life and now thrives in her new environment, making new friends, finding joy in her new situation.  What an amazing story of grace this is.

Letting go and moving forward is such a challenge when what we had before was wonderful or, at the very least, familiar and comfortable.  So often, though, we do not have a choice.  We don't always get to choose when or how our circumstances change.  Sometimes change chooses us.

This is one of the hardest things I've had to come to terms with in my walk of faith.  It took a major health crisis in the life of a close family member to teach me that I am not in control.  Somehow before my baby sister's lengthy hospital stay years ago I believed I could make anything happen if I worked hard enough or prayed hard enough.  I learned at her bedside that this is not true.  Her life (indeed all of our lives) were changed forever and only by grace have we released the old and found joy amidst the challenges of the new.

Again and again I have learned that faith doesn't give us the ablilty to control the world.  It gives us the ability thrive when our world is out of control.

Thawing Out

I've been a little too serious lately...too focused for wreckless abandonment, too grown up for awe and wonder.

It snowed here two days ago.  I love the way most Texans react to freezing white stuff. It is such a rarity for us. A few flakes on the ground and we're trying to build snowmen (sometimes tiny ones) and pulling out whatever we can find to use as sleds.  Our family has been known to use trashcan lids and small plastic swimming pools. The children of a good friend use their boogie boards. Everyone runs to the store to "stock up" and then we run home to "hunker down". Then the snow melts, usually within a day or so, and the temperatures climb back up as quickly as they fell.

Normally I would have been the first one to throw a snowball at some unsuspecting family member.  Instead, I sat in my chair by the window and watched.  I enjoyed it but something was off.  I wasn't sad or grumpy, I just wasn't engaged.  I didn't even take any pictures, which is unthinkable for me. 

I owe a big "thank you" to my children.  Yesterday they got me out for a walk in the woods which, of course, ended in a snowball fight.  It felt good to be silly...to run and laugh and scream.  I'm so glad I got out and played in that beautiful landscape before it melted away.  In the aftermath of our childlike romp, I realized how much the concerns of this world have been weighing me down.  I know I am missing out on some amazing blessings because I am tired and distracted.

I'm not quite sure what to do about all of this.  I can't just ditch my responsibilties and play all the time, but surely I can find a better balance.  I've had it before.  I want to find it again.

This morning I went for a walk and took pictures of the snow that remains.  Much of the snow has melted, but it turns out that snow is just as beautiful when it's melting as it is when it's falling.  Our drippy, melty woods is quite lovely in its own way.  Even now I can hear the steady dripping of melted ice falling from the trees hanging over our tin roof, a reminder of how quickly things change...an encouragement to embrace this day before it melts away.