I've been a little too serious lately...too focused for wreckless abandonment, too grown up for awe and wonder.
It snowed here two days ago. I love the way most Texans react to freezing white stuff. It is such a rarity for us. A few flakes on the ground and we're trying to build snowmen (sometimes tiny ones) and pulling out whatever we can find to use as sleds. Our family has been known to use trashcan lids and small plastic swimming pools. The children of a good friend use their boogie boards. Everyone runs to the store to "stock up" and then we run home to "hunker down". Then the snow melts, usually within a day or so, and the temperatures climb back up as quickly as they fell.
Normally I would have been the first one to throw a snowball at some unsuspecting family member. Instead, I sat in my chair by the window and watched. I enjoyed it but something was off. I wasn't sad or grumpy, I just wasn't engaged. I didn't even take any pictures, which is unthinkable for me.
I owe a big "thank you" to my children. Yesterday they got me out for a walk in the woods which, of course, ended in a snowball fight. It felt good to be silly...to run and laugh and scream. I'm so glad I got out and played in that beautiful landscape before it melted away. In the aftermath of our childlike romp, I realized how much the concerns of this world have been weighing me down. I know I am missing out on some amazing blessings because I am tired and distracted.
I'm not quite sure what to do about all of this. I can't just ditch my responsibilties and play all the time, but surely I can find a better balance. I've had it before. I want to find it again.
This morning I went for a walk and took pictures of the snow that remains. Much of the snow has melted, but it turns out that snow is just as beautiful when it's melting as it is when it's falling. Our drippy, melty woods is quite lovely in its own way. Even now I can hear the steady dripping of melted ice falling from the trees hanging over our tin roof, a reminder of how quickly things change...an encouragement to embrace this day before it melts away.