Showing posts with label true self. Show all posts
Showing posts with label true self. Show all posts

Monday, July 26, 2010

Home Again

A house is made of walls and beams; a home is built with love and dreams. - Author Unknown

Enjoying this pretty little breakfast my mom just brought in, propped up in the iron bed that was mine as a girl, surrounded by reminders of my youth...I am, at long last, ready to return to my little blog.



I wouldn't call the last several months a "dry" period.  I haven't been writing a lot, but our home has been happy and lots of jewelry has been coming out of the studio.  Still, I feel this slow deterioration of the deep-rooted peace that lets me know things are in balance.  I realized a few weeks back that neglecting the discipline of journaling was taking its toll on me.  Writing helps me stay focused, centered, and sane!  Returning to my blog is part of my plan to get back on track.  I have also taken up the habit of writing morning pages.


Morning pages, a long-time practice and teaching of artist, author and mentor, Julia Cameron, are three pages of writing (long hand) anything that comes to your head.  In her classic book, The Artist's Way, Cameron suggests that artists do this every day to awaken creativity.  (Click here to read more about morning pages.)  For me this type of journaling is a form of prayer. I come just as I am, pour out whatever is in my heart and mind, and I listen. I get answers. I gain clarity.  And today, I was inspired as I wrote and looked up to see this amazing Rose of Sharon blooming outside the window of my parents back bedroom.



It is good to spend time in the home where I grew up.  So often when I come to visit I am rushed... here for a weekend, or here for an event.  But this week I am just "here".  I have time to rest in this place so filled with memories.  I have time to remember and honor much of what made me who I am.  It is bittersweet.


I look out at the Rose of Sharon, so generously offering its gorgeous bouquet and I marvel at how large this plant is now.  I remember when it was tiny.  Come to think of it, I remember when it wasn't there at all.  I look out into the yard and remember plastic swimming pools, our big swing set, birthday celebrations, and lazy summer mornings just like this when everything was right in my little world.  My biggest worry was what game my little sister and I would play when the afternoon heat drove us inside for the day. 




I find myself wishing our old playhouse was still out back, with it's big windows and adjacent sandbox.  Maybe I'd build a few sand pies for our imaginary bakery or maybe I'd just sit and dig my toes deep into the soothing cool of the sand.  Maybe there, surrounded by so many memories, I'd hear, loud and clear, the laughter of a little girl who knows she is loved and believes anything is possible.


I hope you make time today to remember and honor something good from your past.  Allow these memories to lift and encourage your spirit as you close your eyes, dig in deep, and listen.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Where Did I Go?

Yay!  I'm back!  Since I didn't post any pictures over the holidays I thought I'd share my favorite photo of our puppies.  Dakota is almost a year old and at the time this image was taken, Deisel was about 2 months.  As you can see, Dakota was maybe not so excited about his new friend.

So I haven't posted since November. What's up with that? Yes, the holidays came and it was a busy season, but was it that busy? Not really. Besides, we make time for the things we truly love and I love blogging, right?

So why can't I seem to make myself put my thoughts to paper (or keyboard) lately?

I'm doing that "thing" again. It's that thing where I can't simply do something for the pure joy of it. Somehow it was beginning to morph into a chore...a task...an assignment. I slowly succumbed to the temptation to think about attracting more readers, more followers. I saw the potential for my blog as a marketing tool for my jewelry business and I began to move in that direction.

The joy of writing my little blog was slowly draining away

Instead of sharing my heart, I began to feel like a ghost writer for someone I thought I should and maybe even wanted to be.

You know, I've been there and done that.  For years I tried to be who other people said I should be.  I tried to fit the mold, to meet the expectations.  The truth is, when I am in my studio or writing a blog post, I sometimes get a glimpse of a girl who wants to be known but always ends up hiding.  I think I recognize her.  I think she's me. 

I would like for this blog to be a safe place for her... a place where she can express her heart...a place where she can step into the light and be free. 

So here's my plan: henceforth I will write from my heart and not my head.  I am going to avoid, as much as possible, things like the site meter I am about to remove because they encourage me to try to "measure" my success at this.  It's such a habit with me.  I'm going to have to go cold turkey.

And so, in honor of the child that is stepping forth, I leave you with a few images of a freer, less encumbered me:


 Just playing in the front yard...not a care in the world

"All children are artists. The problem is how to remain one"
Pablo Picasso


 Laughing (as always) with my baby sister


"Assuredly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will bo no means enter it"
Mark 10:15

I would love to hear about the things that bring you joy and your favorite ways to express what's in your heart.  Do you ever struggle to be the true you?
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