A Very Special Day

Today I'm excited to share my latest journal page and wish my little sister a very happy birthday!

I have three sisters and all of our names begin with J.  Anyone who knows us even a little knows that we are j's 1,2,3 and 4.  I am j3 and Jill, whose birthday is today is j4.

Jill came into my life when I was just two years old so I don't remember this world without her.  The picture I used for today's journal page was taken as I was leaving for my first day of kindergarten.  I wonder if Jill wanted to go with me that day.  We would have had a blast in the kitchen center!

My little sister and I did everything together when we were young.  We laughed, we fought, and we put on countless "shows" for our big sisters and our parents.  Every summer morning we made mud pies for our playhouse bakery and we spent entire afternoons pretending we were being chased by "the robbers" who were trying to harm our twin baby girls (our matching Baby Tender Loves).  Somehow we always made a narrow escape in time for dinner.  It was really quite magical.

Life was simple and beautiful.  We had no idea how complicated things would get as we grew up. We had no idea I'd get married and move thousands of miles away.  We had no idea how many months of her life Jill would spend in hospitals because of a respiratory condition.  We had no idea how hard so much of it would be but looking back I see how rich it has been as well.  The hardships have helped us treasure the good times and we've learned to look for beauty in unexpected places.

The most beautiful people I've known are those who have known trials, 

have known struggles, have known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.

 -Elisabeth Kubler-Ross

Recently Jill and I amused ourselves one night in her hospital room by drawing left-handed portraits of each other.  As you can see, we are both most definitely right-handed.

I have to say, it is amazing that she captured such a great likeness of me since she had an oxygen sensor on one of her fingers at the time.  We laughed hysterically.  We laughed because the drawings were so silly, then we laughed even more because we needed so much to feel joy and to be okay with life as it was just at that moment.  Laughter is such a powerful weapon. 

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. 

The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. 

Nelson Mandela 

Jill,  I want you to know it is an honor to walk through life with such a brave and daring girl.  I am amazed at the depth of your strength and courage and the way you come through every trial with your humor and your generosity in tact.  You will never know how much it inspires me when you continue to look for and celebrate the beauty that is in this world.  Thank you for being my cheerleader and for always being able to make me smile.  I am proud to be your sister and oh, I do love you so.  -j3

A Few Old Pics, A Major Milestone, and Thoughts About Change

I always get the urge to "nest" in the fall, focusing on family, our home, and the holidays.  Lately, though, some changes have affected the rhythm of this season for me.  My kids are growing up, and my nest is just a few years away from being empty.  I know  my life is about to change in ways that I cannot predict or control.

Christmas 1997...seems like a lifetime ago.

So what now?

I was the Girl Scout leader mom, the volunteer in the library mom, the help with school parties and teach Sunday school mom.  Life was sometimes too full and it was absolutely never quiet or lonely.  In some ways I will forever mourn the passing of that season.  It was so very rich.  

The huz and I celebrated an important milestone on August first of this year.  It has been twenty-five years since we plunged into married life with unfettered dreams, strong opinions and naive confidence.  A few years later we entered into parenthood in the same way.  All of it has changed us, softened us, humbled us and hopefully we are a bit wiser these days.  We are certainly a bit older!

  Newlyweds...in Mountain Home, Idaho (1988)

We had so much ahead of us...still do.

I look forward to the coming transformation, the next metamorphosis in our life together as the kids become increasingly independent.  Having an empty nest will mean huge changes for me personally and I want to embrace it all with a sense of adventure.  I'm not sure I will be entirely successful, but I'm going to give it a go.

I think a lot about the woman I wrote about in this post.  The story of the way she handled a very big transition continues to inspire and encourage me.  I want that kind of grace in my life.  I want to honor and appreciate what was while boldly walking toward what will be.  

And do you know what?  Deep, deep down I really do believe my life is unfolding just exactly as it should and when I focus on that I find peace that I cannot explain.  At the end of the day I truly, deeply believe that the One who loves me more than any other is on my side.  He sees me wrestle with my questions, my disappointments and my fears.  He knows how I dream of a bright future and He assures me He has great plans for me and my family.  I need not fear or regret change.  The story is much, much bigger than just what I see and feel today.

 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11

I pray that you are increasingly able to embrace the transitions you face in your life and that a sense of assurance and adventure will permeate your thoughts about change and the future.  May your awareness of the "bigger picture" increase and may you find deep peace beyond explanation or understanding.

I hope you find beauty in this season of your life and celebrate each blessing this day brings.

Latest Journal Page

I haven't kept up with the Lil Journal Project these past few weeks as well as I did in the beginning, but I'm still finding great prompts at LilBlueBoo when time allows.  Yesterday Ashley suggested we make a layered page featuring a great quote.  Well, I was all over that one since that is one of my favorite things to do!  I wanted to share the page I created because it just makes me so happy to look at it.

(Khalil Gibran obviously wrote these words just for me.)

I can't tell you how much I love keeping an art journal.  I said for years that I was going to do it but just didn't seem to be able to get started.  I think I had it in my head that it had to be some great work of art.  Good grief.

I carry this journal with me all over place these days (even around the house) and I look at my favorite pages over and over again.   Does that make me weird?  In a strange way my journal is a good friend to me.

Okay, yeah, that is weird.  I might need to get out more.

I hope you find something wonderful and creative to do this weekend.  If you'd like to try following a few of Ashley Hackshaw's journal prompts I would highly recommend it!   Just click on this link.

I'm headed to the Edom Festival of the Arts on Sunday...always a good time!  I'll let you know what treasures I find.

Running Toward Our Fear

Well,  if courage requires mental strength I might be in a bit of trouble.  I am easily overwhelmed these days and I have a lot of trouble maintaining focus.  Is it fear or hormones?

Today I'm linking up for the first time with a blog circle!  We're sharing images and thoughts about being brave.  I hope you'll take a few minutes to follow the link at the end of this post to see what some of my very talented and courageous blogging friends have shared.  If you follow the link provided by each of the twelve participants you will complete the circle and end up back where you started...right here!

"We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which 

we really stop to look fear in the face." -Eleanor Roosevelt

Fear is a lot like a bully on the school playground, waiting for an opportunity to intimidate you.  The bully wants to block your path and steal your hope, creativity, and power.

One thing to remember about bullies, though: they are often full of hot air.

As an artist I fight fear all the time.  Sharing my art is like holding my heart out and saying, "Here it is, the most honest and vulnerable part of me.  What do you think?"  I would like to say that I don't ever worry how my efforts are received, but more often than not I feel a bit fragile and breathless, hoping for a positive response.  I find this is true with all kinds of expression.  It's true when I display my latest piece of jewelry or collage.  It was true when I used to sing in church.  It is true when I hit the publish button on this blog.

There is great power in confronting and conquering (or even running toward) our fear.  It can be exhilarating and is most definitely empowering.  Pursuing things that make your heart beat faster...things that bring tears to your eyes... is a little addictive once you get used to it.  Learn to disengage and step back from the fear.  Have a good look at it.  See how it shrivels when you stop giving it the power to dictate your thoughts and actions.

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. 
The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear. 

Nelson Mandela

My family and I have had a bit of a rough year and along with weariness I notice that fear has crept in.  Sometimes I am afraid to begin something new because I'm afraid circumstances will change and everything will have to go on hold again.  Other times I'm afraid of what the future might hold for us all.  I realize as I write this post that I give fear more power when I walk in hopelessness and I know it's time to make some changes.  Daring to dream again...to dust yourself off and move forward with no guarantees is not for the faint of heart but I'm up for it.  How about you?

Now for some fun... take a few minutes and visit the next post in today's blog circle, by Sue Grilli.  Sue is a very gifted watercolor artist and she’s posted some great thoughts creative courage.  I hope you'll follow all of the links in our little blog circle.  There are some amazing stories and images posted today!

A Fun Diversion

My son's technology teacher showed the class something today that's fun to try if you are a Google Chrome or Firefox user.  (The page wouldn't load for me on Explorer.)  Just click on the link below and wait to see what happens.

Isn't that great?  I freaked out a little the first time I saw it.  Now type or copy and paste the address to this blog (below) in the search bar on your altered Google Chrome page (if you can find the search bar!):

www.taprootstudio.blogspot.com 

Every web page I tried worked and the elements just keep piling up at the bottom of the screen.  You can grab individual elements and move them, throw them and drop them back onto the pile.

If you have time to play, go to mrdoob.com and scroll through the different applications in the bar at the top of the screen.  This is a collection of real time applications created by techie, Ricardo Cabello, who clearly is a genius.  Click on a box and follow the instructions on the screen.  Be warned, however, many of them are way fun and could be highly addictive!

Enjoy!

True to Your Own Path

Sometimes the biggest challenge in living a creative life is staying true to your own path.  

The big loud voices of this world will pressure you to follow the crowd but Your voice is like a small child tugging at your sleeve.  Lean in close and listen...what is that child telling you?

I am by nature a pretty joyful girl.  Sometimes I catch a lot of flack for that.  The big loud voices try to tell me that child-like wonder is simplistic and hope is naive.  But I know better.  When I deny or turn against that silly, sometimes overly dramatic, nature-loving dreamer that lives inside of me then I lose myself and I have nothing to give that truly comes from my heart.***

I cannot create someone else's art.  I can only create my own.

In the end we all have a part to play...the optimists, the realists, the dreamers and the analysts.  We challenge each other, balance each other out.  We must play our part.  We must be true to our own path.

***If you sometimes feel judged as being unaware or even a little naive in your joy, check out a beautiful post titled Starting Now? The End to the Cynicism at a lovely site called A Holy Experience.  

Morning Whispers

Sometimes when morning comes there are whispers, or fragments of whispers, lingering just at the edge of my thoughts.  They might be leftover pieces of dreams or newborn ideas for a new day.  Morning whispers are wise and true.  They are the voice of my creator.

I hear my whispers most clearly when I am very still in my heart and mind but active in my body.  This is why I love to walk in the mornings.  I most prefer walking out-of-doors but during the heat of this past summer I walked on a treadmill at a local gym.  I fell into the habit of watching morning news programs as I walked.  My poor whispers were drowned out by the yack yack yack of reporters, witnesses and experts but all that talk did nothing to feed my spirit or nurture my soul.

Cooler weather is finally here and, happily, I am back to walking in the fresh, beautiful air.  As I walk I listen and with each step I gain clarity and focus for the new day.

i thank you God for most this amazing day

for the greenly leaping spirits of trees

and a blue true dream of sky

and for everything which is natural, which is infinite, which is yes

- ee cummings

Outside My Front Door

The weather here was absolutely perfect today so I spent some time outside playing with the macro lens on my camera.   I love the way it encourages me to notice details and tiny things that I might otherwise miss.  

Today's treasures were a sweet little acorn...

a few beautiful blooms...

a handsome zipper spider...

a tiny mossy landscape...

and one very playful kitty!

I hope you're getting out and about on these beautiful fall days.  Treasures are waiting to be found right outside your front door.  I just know it!